7 Dos and Don'ts of Writing a Eulogy

Writing a eulogy is a meaningful way to honor a loved one's memory and provide comfort to those mourning. To help you navigate this important task, here are seven essential dos and don'ts to keep in mind when crafting and delivering a eulogy.

1. Do: Speak from the Heart

• Be genuine and authentic in your words
• Share personal memories and experiences
• Express your true feelings about the deceased

Don't: Try to be overly formal or detached

• Avoid using language that doesn't feel natural to you
• Steer clear of clichés or platitudes that may sound insincere

2. Do: Focus on the Person's Life and Legacy

• Highlight the deceased's positive qualities and achievements
• Share stories that illustrate their character
• Discuss the impact they had on others

Don't: Dwell excessively on the circumstances of death

• Avoid going into unnecessary detail about illness or the manner of passing
• Be sensitive to the family's wishes regarding how much to share about the death

3. Do: Structure Your Eulogy

• Create an outline to organize your thoughts
• Include an introduction, body, and conclusion
• Ensure there's a logical flow to your speech

Don't: Ramble or lose focus

• Avoid going off on tangents or including irrelevant information
• Try not to jump around chronologically in a confusing manner

4. Do: Include Humor When Appropriate

• Share funny anecdotes or quirks that capture the person's personality
• Use gentle humor to celebrate the joy in the person's life

Don't: Force humor or use inappropriate jokes

• Avoid humor that might be offensive or insensitive
• Steer clear of inside jokes that most attendees won't understand

5. Do: Practice Your Delivery

• Read your eulogy aloud several times before the service
• Time yourself to ensure you're within any given time constraints
• Mark your script with pauses and emphasis points

Don't: Wing it or read it for the first time at the service

• Avoid leaving your preparation to the last minute
• Try not to read robotically without looking up at the audience

6. Do: Be Inclusive

• Acknowledge different aspects of the person's life (family, career, hobbies)
• Recognize the loss felt by various groups (family, friends, colleagues)
• Use language and references that most attendees will understand

Don't: Focus too narrowly on your own relationship

• Avoid excluding significant people or periods in the deceased's life
• Try not to use too many personal references that others won't relate to

7. Do: End on a Positive Note

• Conclude with words of hope or inspiration
• Share how the deceased's legacy will live on
• Offer a final tribute or farewell

Don't: Leave the ending open or unresolved

• Avoid ending abruptly or on a solely sad note
• Try not to introduce new, complex ideas at the conclusion

Additional Tips:

• Keep your eulogy to about 5-10 minutes in length
• Write out your full eulogy rather than relying on notes
• Have water nearby during your delivery
• Remember that it's okay to show emotion

Conclusion:

Writing and delivering a eulogy is a significant responsibility, but it's also an opportunity to pay meaningful tribute to someone special. By following these dos and don'ts, you can create a eulogy that honors your loved one's memory, comforts those in attendance, and helps in the collective grieving and healing process.

Remember, the most important aspect of a eulogy is its sincerity. Your words, spoken from the heart, will resonate with those mourning and provide a fitting celebration of a life well-lived.